托福考试写作例文19
发布时间：2013/7/26 23:26:28 来源：城市网学院 编辑：admin
Baed on the lecture, meerkats actually do not sacrifice themself by be#ing a sentinel. Firstly, the meerkats that be#e a sentinel usually eats before. Secondly, these meerkats usually standing guard near their burrows. As a result, when a predator is seen, they raise an alarm and reach a safe place before the other meerkats that hunt for food. This shows that these meerkats do not put themselves in danger. In fact, the lecturer warned that the the alarm raised by these meerkats could be harmfull for the other meerkats. One of the reason is that the responses of the other meerkats to the alarm might attract attention from the predator. Based on these reasons, meerkats can not be used as an example of a mammal that performs altruistic behavior.
The lecture also pointed out that. it is not always true that individuals performing altruistic acts gait. nothings for themselves. For example, when a man give one of his/her kidney to a family member or even a stranger, his/her self-worth increase. He/she feels usefull for other people. Therefore, he/she gain something from his/her action.
In sum, altruism behavior in animal and human is questioned. It is difficult for individuals sacrificies its own interest without gain anything for themselves.
Rater's Comments
This response includes all the main points of the lecture. The first paragraph begins with a clear statement that sentinel meerkats do not sacrifice themselves. There are strong concluding statements in each of the first two paragraphs that are quite explicit about the import of the sentinel behavior and the organ donation. The connections to the reading could be stronger. The writer says that the sentinel meerkat eats "before," but does not make an explicit contrast to the passage which says that sentinel meerkats go without eating. The conclusion in the final paragraph is vague (“altruism ... is questioned”). On balance then, this response is a level 4, with minor vagueness and omission. In terms of language, there are a number of minor errors: “themselves” missing verb in the sentence beginning “Secondly;” “one of the reason,” “a man give” “It is difficult for individuals sacrificies.”
