托福考试写作资料：独立写作5
发布时间：2013/8/3 21:15:10 来源：城市网学院 编辑：admin
Right now adults have different points of view about live. Independent from their parents as soon as possible or continue to live with their parents. Live with your parents have many differents advantage. First, some people don’t want to have responsabilities, they want their parents still take the desicion. For example, house's responsabilities or pays. Secound, When peoples live with their parents they don’t expend a lot money for house or food. Third, they belief that their family is a great #pany. But in the other hand, when people live along have important advantage. For example, They live independient, they don’t have limitation in their own house. They don’t need to negotiate with other persons or family.
Morover, they have a great oportunity to learn about how administarte a house, and what is the real value of the money. They can understand everything about responsability in their house. Finally they have more freedom.
Both live independient and live with your parents have many different disadvantage. On the first points of view, live independient, the most important problem is money and expensive. For example, right now young adults need to find a good job for live in a good place because rents are expensive. It is the same with food and services. They need to have aexcellent im#e to live in good conditions. Also, they need to work in the house along because don’t have #pany. They need to clean, do the laundry, buy the food, and cook along. Although people think live independient have a huge sacrifices, also live with their parents it is difficult and have a lot of disadvantage. For example, when people live with their parents have many different limitation with activities in the house, every time need to negociate with your family in addition.
Rater's Comments
This essay is somewhat developed and is longer than the average essay with a score of 3. It has a coherent organization based on describing the pros and cons of living apart from one's parents and living with them, with supporting points. In some cases, however, this approach leads to redundancy, especially toward the end of the essay. Additionally, even discounting typographical mistakes, the various errors clearly reveal weakness in #mand of language (“Live with your parents have many differents advantage,” “the most important problem is... expensive”). Meaning is also sometimes obscured (“house's resonsabilities or pays,” “They need to work in the house along because don’t have #pany”).
